Burst The Silence

Mat Nur

Singer/Song writer

“About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

4 years ago, when I was 27, I lost my job as a technician, sold the home I lived with my parents, and had my heart broken a couple of times.

At first, I thought I could cope with all these stressors. However, thinking back, I think I was in denial as I slowly started to crack.

I started to believe that everyone was plotting against me, even my family!

I believed that everyone wanted me dead - The authorities, the army, secret societies, and my neighbours. I also started thinking that there were nano-machines in the food people gave me that could transmit my thoughts.

I refused to eat for a week. I didn’t bathe, and kept quiet most of the time because I thought people could read my mind and vice versa.

This worried my mother very much and she finally decided to send me for treatment at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

I spent a few days in the ward and was discharged on home leave. I thought it was over until I started to read the papers, watch TV and interact with people. Something still seemed odd. It seemed as if people were mocking me and talking in encoded messages.

The doctors finally put me on Olanzapine, an anti-psychotic medication.

I spent up to 41 days, still having the false belief that the whole world despised me and wanted me dead.

However, my case manager told me one day, “Nur, if you can’t prove all this is happening then it’s not true. Think about it.”

I spent the next day contemplating about it and I started to realize that I wasn’t losing my mind. I already did.

Honestly, I owe it not only to the support group and medication but to my own will to overcome it.

My advice to those reading this - Seek treatment as early as possible. Medication and support group play a part but it also takes the individual’s will to overcome it.

The first thought that came through my mind was the stigma that I have to live with. I know for a fact that being in a conservative society, the perception of me would change.

I armed myself with the knowledge of my illness and identify warning signs of my illness. In that way, I feel more empowered. I also find therapy through prayers, playing and writing music to express myself.

In the end, we can only educate the society about mental illness and hope that the society will be more aware and accepting of it.”

www.youthinmind.sg

Dinie Rahman (http://burstthesilence.tumblr.com/post/22626679445/dinie-rahman-student-i-like-to-share-still-trying), who bravely burst the silence on his condition of having OCD, has inspired someone to do likewise. 

To our readers, break the stigma surrounding mental health issues, and Burst The Silence!

Zi Ying

daughter/ sister/ lover/ friend

“Nobody asked for it. Nobody wants it. Nobody deserves it. Do you think people living with mental illness asked for their lives to be splashed with blood red highlighter ink outlining and intensifying their pain? Yet those that have mental illness are slapped with sharp fines by society, for doing nothing at all. We overwrite the different songs of their lives before they were diagnosed, with the same piercing, beating, undying thump of stigma and discrimination.

During the course of my internship at IMH, the question glued itself stubbornly, to the wall of my mind: why do we forget that they are beautiful, breathing, living, stunning people too?

I choose to burst the silence because to me, that’s the only thing we can do for them.”

www.youthinmind.sg

N

Avid reader

Noodle slurper

“I was an intern with the Institute of Mental Health for four months. During my internship there, I met and interacted with a myriad of individuals with mental illness.  Contrary to general views of people with mental illness, the patients there displayed inner strength, warm personalities and an array of capabilities.

Bursting the silence is so important because with each person that speaks out, stigma gradually reduces and people with mental illness will be one step closer to being accepted in society. If they are willing to show others what they are capable of achieving, shouldn’t we be willing to give them a chance?”

www.youthinmind.sg

Sufyan Adli Bin Supiani

Freelance singer and Songwriter

Animal Lover and a home body

“On 3 October 2011, I experienced the climax of anxiety which turned into panic attacks. The panic attack usually starts with palpitations of the heart, hyperventilating and painful cramps of limbs.  

Working in a fast paced corporate world for 13 years, my world changed forever when panic disorder started to invade my life. I paid a price for not sharing my condition and getting professional help earlier. 1 year of unemployment due to being unwell eventually dried up my savings and I had to sell my home to stop my mortgage and rent homes with my pet kids instead. I also began to develop agoraphobia entering the central business district.

Thanks to my dad who invested music into my life, at least I have a spark of hope to believe that there is still a purpose for me to keep getting up each time I fell and rolled in the deep.  I decided to seek professional help when suicidal thoughts were uncontrollable and the belief in my strength started to fade. Professional assistance had helped me to deal with my life one step at a time towards my goal to recovery.  I urge youths to come forward and learn to share and manage your troubles and stresses to make life manageable, beautiful and meaningful. “

www.youthinmind.sg